Thursday, 23 October 2014

Mario Balotelli - Shirt-Swapgate

I am outraged by the behaviour of Mario Balotelli, who had the audacity to swap his shirt with an opponent when requested to do so. This is the football scandal to end all football scandals. It is cheating and high treason and I am at a loss as to why action has not been taken. He must be a serial killer and a psychopath. This is the only possible explanation. Why was this monster not sacked on the spot and ejected by security? Why were the police not involved? Why has he not be shot in the street with a bill for the bullet being served on his mother. I am heartbroken about the entire affair. Someone had better do an online petition calling for his summary execution, even if belatedly.

Here are 10 outrageous football moments that are still less outrageous than Mario Balotelli's scandalous shirt swapping antics.

Louis Suarez biting 3 different people on 3 separate occasions

Eric Cantona's kung-fu kick on a Crystal Palace fan

Roy Keene's deliberate and successful attempt to end a fellow professional's career (namely that of Alfi Halaand).

Robbie Fowler's role model coke snorting celebration.

Robbie Fowlers role model sodomy celebration.

Paul Merson's  role model binge drinking celebration.

Every footballer who ever took a bribe from a far eastern betting cartel.

Jose Mourinho's attempt to gouge out the eyes of his opposite number.

Joey Barton punching Carlos Tevez, rabbit punching Sergio Aguero in the back and headbutting Vincent Kompany, all in the space of twenty five seconds.

Nicola Anelka's role model Fascist salute celebration.


Mrs I Liesalot.

October 2014