1
I am the Lord Thy God and Mine Name is Louis.
2
Thou shalt not take the name of Wayne Rooney or Johnny Evans in
vain or say Manchester United are shite and deranged.
3
Thou shalt cherish the Swamp and its cup schemes and keep it full
of glory fixated clowns and sociopaths always.
4
Thou shalt honour thy cheating bastard referees who give
Manchester United loads of penalties and their opponents none at
all. Thou shalt not blow the final whistle unless Manchester
United are winning.
5
Thou shall not kill/murder Manchester United, especially if thine
name is MK Dons.
6 Thou
shalt not commit goals against Manchester United unless they are
consolation ones with no meaning.
7
Thou shall not steal the trophies that are the sole and rightful
property of Manchester United. Nor shalt thou ever sign for
Manchester United for anything other than footballing reasons and
thou shalt draw no salary at any time whilst playing for the Lord
Thy God's own football club.
8
Thou shalt not bear false witness except when playing for
Manchester United, in which case thou shalt dive thine very
knickers off whenever the opportunity presents and always be
lauded and rewarded in so doing.
9
Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's silverware; nor
anything else that belongs to thine neighbour for as long as thine
neighbour is Manchester United.
10
Thou shalt never slag Manchester United off for spending
squillions on people who all wear figurative number ten on the
backs of their shirts. Nor shalt thou ever apply the Financial
Fair Play Rules to the Chosen Ones, AND nor to Real Madrid for
that matter.
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Kind
Regards ... and please don't make me bring forth the Tribulations
earlier than scheduled by ignoring the above commandments for should any of you do so, the living shalt envy the dead.
Signed:
The Lord Thy God
September
2014
