Shortish comedy articles of a random and insincere and immature nature.
Sunday, 21 September 2014
Leicester City 5 MaDchester United 3
Leicester City 5 MaD United 3
MWA MWA MWA MWA
It was Leicester City and we shipped five goals. The next time Leicester score five against anyone, it will be Tranmere Rovers in a League One game. I will kill all fucking Dutch people. I
will fucking kill everyone. Why is there a bastard Brazilian going
about the place being a penalty conceding prick every time he gets anywhere near the first team. My chihuahua shits better
footballers than him. He is worse than his brother, which is actually impossible.
What has happened here? We have Galactico's.
Everywhere are Galactico's. Shit ones. Only Woodward would buy shit
Galactico's for 2.7 billion quids and more. They don't care. Tomorrow
they will be playing golf whilst the fans will all look like twats when we go
into work. People will laugh. Same with the commentators. I don't know what to say. It is our
kit, that's doing it. We could have kept our monies in our pockets,
stupid bastards, and changed our shirt to blue. Look at City. Look at
Chelsea. Look at Everton last year. And to think we went to Wonga to fund the acquisition of this shite?
WONGA, ffs. How much will that cost by the time we've paid it all
back, which will be never? Now we will have to go to Amigo Loans in January and have that
bastard Sheikh from across the road guarantee us a loan so we can buy some proper defenders. I
don't even know what to do. I have smacked myself over the head with
a hammer for distraction and this hasn't even worked!!!!
Fucking Leicester. The King Power
Stadium. I don't think so. We were two up. Then we were three one up.
Our fans were singing and wank festing about how we were the pride of all Europe. They were all over the television doing this. But how
can we fucking be the pride of all Europe, anyway, when we are such losers?
Why don't we just go and raid
the youth team squad at Hyde FC and have bastard done with it?????!!!!! How could this make things any worse? It
couldn't. And at least if we were to do this, we could go around excusing our shitness by telling everyone that it's nobody's fault and you can never win
anything with kids, particularly 15 year old Hyde FC rejects. It would be a better excuse than anything Tactical
Turtle could ever come up with. I hate that Wildebeest headed half-wit.
What about Gary Lineker? I don't want to
see a shit-eating smirk on his face again. Now I can't watch Match of
the Day for at least a month and I bet you any money the twat will be covering the Ryder Cup next week, which will be a constant reminder and will spoil our enjoyment. Dipperpool will shit on us again
soon, even though they have been stain of wanking activities so far this season. Barnsley will slaughter us too, when we draw them
in the FA Cup. This is definitely my prediction.
I hope those Galactico bastards are made to walk home
down the middle lane of the motorway. Shitters.
Mayday, for Christ's sake. A-fucking-gain.
I am going to bed. Spurs are fucking
better than us.